The New Chapter

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Why is it that the boys I may actually consider dating keep breaking our plans and the boys who I have no interest in seeing practically stalk me?

My life is AWESOME!

No woman likes their periods, but mine tend to come and go without too many problems. However, I am having a bad one.

I have to change my tampon (the super duper absorbency kind) every hour. I also wear a pad (with wings) for extra protection. It's THAT heavy. I woke up several times last night to change everything out. It also hurts. I'm not talking cramps. I know what cramps feel like. These aren't cramps. It's a dull pain in one spot.

I JUST saw my doctor on Wednesday for a pap. No unusual results. No STD's. I haven't been doing anything to get an STD, but still, it's nice to have "I'm Clean" in writing.

Naturally I am freaking out and after what my mom died of, I'm allowed. I already inherited her MS...I do NOT want inherit this. If it doesn't get any better tomorrow, I'm going to call the doctor and ask him what I should do. I don't really want to call over to my doctor because he has a very cute young medical assistant working for him. I really don't feel like talking about my uterus with some boy. Not that it matters since he saw my pap paperwork last week. It's still weird though.

I thought you all wanted to know about my uterus.

In the past 2 weeks, 2 friends have wanted to set me up. Do I have some sort of vibe that I am putting off asking my friends to set me up? I hope not, because that's not really what I want. Even G-TAFT tried to hook me up with some guy last Spring. HILARIOUS!

The last guy and I had NOTHING in common. I could kill my friend Chris. I don't know what he was thinking putting the two of us together.

Last night my friend Erica kept trying to get me to go out and meet some guy she knows.

Why am I a charity case?

There's going to be a get together tomorrow night for the Madison High School Class of 99. I would give ANYTHING to be in high school again.

10 years ago my parents were still alive.
10 years ago my heart hadn't really been broken yet.
10 years ago I didn't have MS.

The only thing that keeps me going so I can go to the 20 year reunion is that I keep telling myself it can't get any worse. Now if I get cancer before then, I'm throwing in the towel.

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One of Monroe's friends came up on my "people you may know" list or whatever that thing is. I clicked on her profile and Monroe's GF was listed as a friend. Yeah, I clicked...don't know why...but I did. It was private and all I could see was a picture.....of her left hand...with something shiney on it.

SON OF A BITCH!

I had to think about why I was upset. A lot of reasons came to mind....

1) I should be engaged first.
2) Sometimes I miss him.
3) Someone once referred to her as a horrible howling she-beast...since then I just can't seem to like her. That and she always has the fake look on her when she talks to someone. It's annoying.

I hope she's just stupid and is wearing the ring on the wrong finger.

I'm looking at jobs in Portland. I can have a crappy life here in Ohio...or I can have a crappy life in Portland. I at least like Portland. Mamaw doesn't even know who I am, so there's really NO reason for me to stay here.

I rarely buy soda and I try to avoid it when I go out to eat.(Always when I go to Frisch's though...Mmm Vanilla Coke.) So naturally I haven't paid attention to the evolution of the cap awards. Remember when all you had to do was open the coke bottle and look under the cap and you either won a free coke or you didn't. You then traded in your cap for a free coke. That was all the work you had to do.

I bought a coke in the vending machine today...

Now you have to text a code to this number or go online and enter it at a website. It seems so silly. Instead of logging onto a website to enter my code, I have logged onto livejournal to complain. If I won a free Coke, just freaking tell me. I don't want to do any extra work.

I do remember in college when I drank Mt Dew ALL THE TIME I did collect the cap codes to earn points to get shit. I got the 9 Days CD, but it took me 40 Mt Dews to do so. Not that it took me long. I lived off of Mt Dew and cheese crackers in college. Yeah I logged onto a website, but I didn't have to do so to get a free Mt Dew. If I won a free Mt Dew then it told me immediately underneath the damn cap.

So yeah, my life really isn't that interesting. All I have to write about are the small little things that annoy me.

So this keeps happening to me....

I meet a guy...we talk....we hang out. I don't hear from him. I don't chase boys, but I'll send a text, email, IM or call. If no response, I move on. No skin off my back.

Then he will text me from out of the blue. I take the bait and start talking to him again. Chat. Chat. Chat. Funny. Funny. Funny. Good times.

Then he doesn't return my texts, calls, emails, IM's, but I'm sure he will text me out of the blue again.

I don't get boys.

Of course, the boring short ones always text/call me.

I don't really have anything to update. I saw some friends last night that I hadn't seen in over a month....I had nothing new to report. I'm a little on the boring side apparently.

My back hurts... a lot. I am hoping it's a rugby injury and not an MS thing. I'm having muscle spasms. It actually feels better when I'm moving. When I sit too long it REALLY hurts. This morning's 2 hour meeting REALLY sucked.

Ok, I guess that's all I have.

Seriously married men? Seriously?

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Seriously married men? Seriously?

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Dear Married Men,

Stop being creepy.

Thanks,
Jill

Guy: Just so you know, that guy has crabs.

Me: uhhhh.... ok.

Guy: Just wanted to let you know since he's been eying you all day.

Me: Oh, ok. Umm thanks?

Guy: (to the guy with crabs) Stop scratching yourself.





And people keep asking me why I'm still single....

I can't watch Grey's Anatomy. It usually makes me cry. I cried the hardest when Denny died, but that was closer to when my parents died...and Monroe and I had fought moments before. I think the damn show just hits me at the wrong time.

Still, the whole George thing is terrible.

And now the news is making me cry. I'm such a wuss any more.

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I can't watch Grey's Anatomy. It usually makes me cry. I cried the hardest when Denny died, but that was closer to when my parents died...and Monroe and I had fought moments before. I think the damn show just hits me at the wrong time.

Still, the whole George thing is terrible.

And now the news is making me cry. I'm such a wuss any more.

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Time for a weekend update. I am too lazy and too much time has passed for a West Coast Vacation update.

FRIDAY: I was a little hungover..ok A LOT hungover. I am NOT 22 and shouldn’t try to drink with the 22 year olds on my rugby team. I can NOT keep up. I did make it through work. It was a MIRACLE that I did. I did leave a little early, but I would have if I wasn’t hungover. There was NO ONE in the office after 330. I left to run some work related errands and got home around 430. I decided taking a nap would be a good idea. I slept for a couple of hours and then met Chrissy at the Holiday Inn in Xenia. (I hope that song is in your head now, because it’s in mine.) We met up there before we went to Old Fashioned Days. I ate some really yummy fried food and helped Chrissy out at her Chamber of Commerce booth. Then she, her boss, her husband and I went BACK to the Holiday Inn. I had ONE beer and it was a struggle to drink that. Yup, getting old. I was home by midnight, which was fine.

SATURDAY: Saturday is a rugby day!!! We played the Cincinnati Kelts, which has a lot of my old teammates. Love-hate relationship there. They are our rivals, but they’re my friends too! I didn’t start. It’s weird. I went from being the number one starting prop to crippled sad girl who couldn’t walk to out of shape/scared to play girl. So I played the second half. I was all kinds of amazing. I WHEELED THE CINCY SCRUM!!!! For those of you who don’t know, that’s a good thing. We only lost ONE scrum when I was in because when I wheeled it, we stole the ball and that’s a no no. I kicked ass in that scrum and my open play was pretty awesome too. I got taken out the last 10 minutes of the game to give a new girl a chance to play. Coach Borg hugged me and I started bawling like a baby. It was really emotional for me, but everyone thought I was crying because I was hurt or upset. I just kept saying that they were tears of joy and that I was so happy to be able to play again!

We lost terribly anyways. Like 49-0….yeah, but they only scored once when I was in.

Then men’s team didn’t tunnel for us. They are ASSHOLES! (Tunneling is when fans form two lines to let the team run through for high fives and such.)

After the men’s game, for which WE tunneled for them, I left to go home, get a shower and pack. On the way down to meet Julie, Jeff and GFMB, I stopped by the Rugby Social to say goodbye and such.

I made it to Julie’s by 4:30 and we were off to Appleton/Green Bay. Nine Hours later we were at our Hotel Room. Julie was beat, and didn’t want to go out, so it was just Me, Jeff and GFMB to partake in some beers in Appleton, WI.

We went to this awesome bar called Cleo’s first. It was decorated for every holiday imaginable. There were Christmas Decorations, Easter, Halloween, Valentine’s, etc. HILARIOUSLY tacky! I loved it! After a few beers and a shot, we decided to go to Houdini’s. Also an awesome bar. A few more drinks and a few more shots and then the bar closed. Sad face. So we went back to the hotel. I set my alarm for 7am.

SUNDAY. WHO DEY! We got up and went tailgate shopping. Mmm mmm mmmmmm. I was surprised because I drank WAY more Saturday night than I had Thursday night, but I wasn’t hungover at all. Weird.

We found an awesome tailgating spot at Hardee’s. There were all these Bengals fans around us. One guy had a tiger costume while another one wore a Favre jersey, but it didn’t say Farve… it said Farte. HILARIOUS!

We drank Spaten and Old Style. There were brats and really yummy bean dip. I had a bun with sauerkraut, but no brat obviously. It was still good. Mmmmm, spicy mustard.

The game was SO MUCH FUN! Packers fans are really nice. I did get to witness the Ochocinco’s Lambeau Leap. It was great to win!!!! WHO DEY!

We drove back to Appleton when GFMB puked in a cup and lost my mother’s Bengal Hat out the window. I was a little upset about the hat. Had traffic not been SO BAD, I would have asked that they turned around to get it. He offered to buy another one, but that wasn’t the point. It was my mom’s.

We had dinner at BW3’s and then tried to go back to Cleo’s ad Houdini’s…but they were closed. Ultimate Sad Face. We ended up at some other bar that was not as cool…so I forgot the name of it.

SUNDAY: Drove home. Nothing too exciting there. Well, we did have IHOP. Mmmmm IHOP.





So ok.. crazy over analytical girl brain: GFMB weirded me out this trip. He kept hanging around with me, would always be walking and talking with me (and not his bestest bud, my brother) and he was always sitting next to me at the game. Even at halftime when we all got up and ended up in different spots, he got up after awhile to go get a beer (even after the beer guy had JUST walked by) and then ended up sitting next to me again. There were high fives all around when the Bengals did awesome things…which they did all game long..FINALLY. He would hold on to my hand and for a little longer than he should have…so I would jerk it away. Then after one high five he accidentally smacked my boob… Total accident, but still…. Then there was the weird after game celebratory hug, when I quickly yelled GROUP HUG so it would stop being awkward.

ALSO, He had the SAME Bengals Jersey that I was wearing. It’s not like it’s a Carson Palmer, or Ochocinco jersey. It’s a KEITH RIVERS JERSEY. You can’t get that at a Meijer. You either have to order it online or go to the Pro Shop at the Stadium to get it. He knew about mine and Jeff’s plan to have Keith Rivers be my baby daddy. So we looked like a damn couple the entire time because we had matching jerseys and were buddy buddy. Sigh….

I’m sure it’s all in my head and I am telling myself that he is just reacting to my good natured, “Hey, I’m finally over all the weirdness so let’s be friends again” attitude.

Stupid crazy over analytical girl brain.

Sometimes I'm sad that he married her instead of me. Then he throws up in a cup and I don't feel sad anymore.

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I feel like complete POO. It's my own darn fault. I should not try and keep up with the 22 year olds while at the bar after rugby practice. Note to self, no more drinking with 22 year olds.

I have THE most hilarious exes.

Facebook Chat:

Adam: We need to get together and catch up!
Me: Yeah, sure.
Adam: Where do you live now?
Me: Yellow Springs which is 20 minutes north of Dayton.
Adam: How far of a drive is that from Northern KY?
Me: Probably an hour and a half.
Adam: We could meet halfway, have some drinks and get a hotel room.
Me: Don't you have a baby momma?
Adam: Yeah
Me: Why don't you have drinks and get a hotel room with her?
Adam: LOL.

I love how he LOL'd that last part!

I don’t like being poor. It really sucks. I know as soon as I pay off all my medical bills, I’ll be better off…but then again, I think my doctor has a crush on me and keeps ordering unnecessary tests just so he can see me. At least that’s what I tell myself. So more tests = more money. It really does suck that when I started to have extra money to save, I had to go and get sick. Stupid Brain. You’re costing me money instead of making me money.

Here are the things I need, but can’t afford:

Haircut
New Glasses
New Contacts
New Tires
Possibly a new car battery (The battery light keeps flashing, but not all the time. I figure I can ignore it for a while until it starts flashing more consistently. I hope I don’t need anything more expensive, like an alternator.)
Something is rattling in my car. I probably need a new something else.
I think I need new brakes too.

I guess it won’t matter if my car breaks down. I won’t be able to see to drive it anyway.